Cocktails & Diapers

Let's talk January

2010-01-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

It's foggy, it's moist, it's darker than usual, right?

Sure it is. About the same temps here in Sac as it is in Seattle actually. Just different is we have more sun and less wind (OHHH That PNW Wind!), and I don't have to stand to wait for a bus so I feel much warmer then a Seattle January too. Although I know when the weather report here says it will be a high of 51 degrees, it will be that around lunch time. You guys in Seattle, are still waiting for the high of 51 degrees around 4 pm, and it MIGHT arrive....it might not.

Anyway, January. As I said before I miss Seattle in November and December, and man, I felt it! But January 2nd, it all went away.

Now I'm super duper happy to have moved. Cuz I hated PNW weather from January 2nd, until July 4th...and even on a wet July 4th I was pretty pissed off. But by the end of February here, it is an average temp of 65, by March it's anywhere up to 75! Spring - (You remember Spring right?) Spring is WONDERFUL here. Spring is what I missed most while living in PNW.

SO I'm already planning my veggie garden and planning picnics and bike rides and whatnew dresses to buy.

I don't miss you PNW now. The sun is about to shine and everything will bloom, and in less then 6 weeks I'll be smelling that beautiful smell that fills this valley.

Ways to know the Economy has recovered (part 1)

2009-12-28T10:15:00.000-08:00

So here in my little world, I can tell you at least a few ways I know our life will be as close to "back to normal" as it can get.

Here starts my list of things that need to happen:
1) WE GET A MAID

I have mentioned this before right? I suck at domestic duties. I'm much better at making money and bringin home bacon then cleaning the pan it frys in.

Really. I'm sure this place would be worse when I was younger - cuz I at least try to pick up. But the actual cleaning part doesn't happen. I don't think I've swept, mopped or scrubbed a dish in a good few years. Maid or no Maid. Thank goodness my husband cleans.

But this also positions us as a couple to fight about cleaning. Most articles I read on the net are about wives complaining that their husbands don't clean. Yeah, well we have a slight role reversal here.

My solution years ago to get the quarreling to stop was a maid service. And it was magic. It FORCED us to pick the house up and it was cleaned top to bottom every two weeks. HEAVEN!

And man, we need that back! So there you go. When we get back on our feet, I'm getting a maid again. It's a serious priority here.

A new kind of post

2009-12-27T09:36:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER: These posts in no way mean I don't think my husband is not totally hot and the guy for me, it's just something that enters my mind, as I'm sure it does everyone's - even my husband's. I find it a natural part of life. Now we'll see how long I can keep these posts up til I feel guilty for it though :P

I've decided since this is my blog and I know you aren't really reading it - to start up a new kind of blog post I want to call "This man is sexy!"

Sometimes they'll actually be blatantly sexy. Sometimes you will want to ask me "WHY??!!"

And I'll let you know why.

This has just been something in my head. Sort of my own People Magazine cover of "Sexiest Men Alive" yearly edition. But I'll just do it when it comes to me. :)

So here you are - the first contender!

ADAM SAVAGE of MYTHBUSTERS

This one I might need to explain. But I can't be alone in this right??

First off, I have a thing for red heads. I like freckles and blue/green eyes. So right there he gets my vote. But here's the part that really attracts me: He's CONSTANTLY laughing. This guy is always smiling, always goofy, always laughing and having a good time. Yet responsibly. And that right now attracts me like a bee to honey. I've been missing laughing for a few years now, and Adam reminds me of me 5 or more years back. So when I watch him, I have a perma-grin on my face.

Not to mention the techie stuff is pretty hot too. So summing up: Cute, Laughing, and smart! Sign me up.

November & December

2009-11-03T11:52:00.000-08:00

My husband would kill me to hear this.

But I miss Seattle.

Because it's November. I ALWAYS liked November & December. To me seasons should be as seasons are...and Winter SHOULD BE, dark, cold, cloudy...with warm hearty soups and a fire in the fireplace. Rain and stormy, and SNOW! I am going to really miss the Seattle snow. So is Alex.

When November hits it's all Christmas music and decorations, Thanksgiving and going to our favorite Christmas tree farm. I'm a little choked up realizing we aren't going to be there this year.

Last year I knew we were moving - and I said we HAD to wait til after December. We did. January 6th to be exact.

And I LOVE this time of year. But it's lacking right now in California, being in the 70s and sunny. While still dressed in T shirts. I can not wait til it gets colder and crappy weather. I know it exists but it's not here yet.

Anyway, Starbucks put out their Eggnog and Gingerbread lattes today. When in Seattle we would have rushed straight there in the morning...but it just doesn't feel like the holidays. I've hardly listened to any Christmas music. And I have to say it again, I am missing Seattle.

I HAVE BEEN REPLACED!!!

2009-11-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

This is not a bad thing.

It's just some interesting (and some a bit worrisome, just not for me) things I noticed since The Move.

Scenario 1:
Who's on Facebook? Well I am, and what seems to be my whole graduating class from High School too. As much of the nation I've been able to connect and talk and share with many old school buddies. Some I've become quite attached to, and that I'm really liking, or knowing more than I ever did in High School.

One couple in particular, who would visit Seattle while I was still there, has just MOVED to Seattle just months after we left. This kind of makes me sad to the fact that we both have small kids and how nice it wold have been to FINALLY have another couple/family to do things with. Even more so is that they like to do the things we like to do! (geocaching anyone?) So I'm a little bummed.

But I didn't like the weather. I needed to move. And you know what? They love it. Which is good. And I just recently found out (Thanks again Facebook) that they used to live in the U.K. so that's a good sign that since they've lived in a similar climate that they will fare just fine. Not to mention they get out and do things, unlike the "locked up in the house" family I had.

So here is my wisdom and something that settles my heart when it hurts from missing Seattle:
We left Seattle and left an empty spot that is now fill with the same size family that will love it and appreciate it much more than I ever did.

I feel better now.

Scenario 2:
UH OH. This is my own personal "Uh Oh". When I moved to Seattle there was a circle of friends of Rod's that welcomed me with open arms. They always welcome everyone with open arms. I did try to stay with the group and as personable as possible - but with the majority of them I don't know if I ever really fit.

So I left, and there's a "spot" left in Seattle again.

They have a nice guy (great guy) in the group. And he's fallen in love with a special girl. I only met her once or twice, but she seemed nice, yet really quiet. She has moved to Seattle for love. Same reason I did. It took her a while because of work circumstances to get there, but she made it. Something in me felt she didn't really want to leave where she lived. Which is Georgia.

I love Georgia. I've mentioned many times that I want to retire there. All warm and toasty and historical and sunny. Did I mention sunny?

I'm worried for her. I moved from a very sunny city to Seattle and had a horrible transition that slowly drove me into a depression. Upon research on the internet, I find that around year 3, a sunny weather transplant starts to show signs of trouble. That's when you just feel "done with it". And it was true for me - I hit year three and went "LEAVE NOW!" I wanted to dry out. I was growing moss.

I'm worried for her. My "spot" was a difficult one. Luckily she doesn't have kids so the weather and the transition to get to know the place is easier, but I really want her to know the warning signs in case they happen.

I had a talk with the nice guy. And by the time year 5 hit, and we were finally moving, I was a crazy person. No one likes to hear about how much someone hates your city that you love. And the Nice Guy LOVES Seattle. Most people were tired of hearing me lament on about my depression and my tribulations and how I needed to leave. But of course none of them really made me feel as though what I was saying was important.

I was trying to convey "HEY PEOPLE, I am suicidal because of this weather...HELP!" - but no one understood the magnitude. I was just a pain in the ass.

Please Circle of Friends, watch her, protect her. I am worried about her, don't let it get bad like mine did. Mine was a "spot" I don't want filled because it came with too many hurdles and emotional needs.

Which is realty??

2009-11-01T11:07:00.000-08:00

You know one problem I had in Seattle was the weather. My transition from one climate to another.

Before Seattle, I never had a problem with Sacramento. I never was so obsessive about weather. I mean I was because I like forecasts but not in the " praying for some sun, and watching ALL weather newscast multiple times a day" like I did in Seattle.

Anyway, I'm having a bit trouble with Autumn. It's not a complaint. It's a "I'm kind of confused." Like I don't know normal. The same fuzzy confused feeling I had for years in Seattle still is haunting me.

I love Fall, I mean who doesn't. Leaves changing, chill in the air...right? And boot season...let's just talk about how cute clothes get in the Fall! In Seattle it's too cold right now for me. It's in the low 50s as a high. Which means it's like 48 degrees all day til 5 pm when it will hit 52. TOO DAMN COLD to be 48 in October. That's why I just never went out. I closed up shop by October 1. And as a mom, or maybe you aren't a mom yet, and you don't know the HELL it is to have to bundle up your kids and have to drag them arond with you while you are cold and wet. And having to stand freezing in the cold moist air while your kid plays at a playground...oh I hated that. It's miserable.

But Sacramento has been sun shiney!! Lovely! 77 degrees everyday! It was 103 in late September (which is not a normal season) but warm warm warm. I'm very confortable. I'm still wearing shorts and t shirts. We wake up to 45 degrees but it warms up by noon. No waiting around all day for only 5 degrees! We are out and about - we are outside. Well, not much since Rod's been back, but used to be a ton.

UMMMMM, but it's Novemeber now. Ummmm, and it's STILL 75 degrees...they are predicting 80 next week. UMMMMM, I don't remember this. Was Autumn here always this warm??? I mean...I wanna wear boots, and sweaters...and have a fire in the fireplace. Ummmmm, When does Fall arrive? Now I'm loving being warm and comfy and all...but maybe if it could be like 65 and sunny???

So I can't remember what is normal...I'm loving being warm, but 75 in November doesn't feel normal. Yet I would be HATING 50 degrees in Seattle. A tempurature inbetween would be nice. Let's ALL be 65 degrees and sunny with a cool breeze and falling leaves...how's that sound?

Where do we all move now to find THAT? I'll retire there after the kids grow up.

To update or not to update

2009-11-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

I have many many times where I've wanted to blog. But you know what? It's easier to blog at work. I get a moment to myself.

I've been unemployed again since May. And the family is now fully moved to California. Not solid though. Still both unemployed. Still 75% of our stuff is either in storage or still packed.

In a really nice BIG rental house. Ann is with us, but she's bought herself a condo. She's staying with us til it's painted and fixed up (into a very Grandma looking place) - so it will be awhile. It took 5 years to get her to pick out paint for her old place.

But we are here day in and day out...starting to bounce off the walls, and pretty desperate for income. I try not to blog when unemployed incase people do that "check the internet" as a background check thing while job hunting.

Alex is in a new school. Nice school. About the same feel like where we came from. I'm missing my old life a bit and I know Rod is missing it alot. But I know once there are friends and new traditions we'll be fine. A good thing about moving is now I don't loathe life in Seattle anymore and I can truly love the memories we made, and appreciate what we did have.

Come to Mama!

2009-05-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

Oh little office heater, how I've missed thee.

Who are the crazy air conditioning Gods who feel that 65 degrees is acceptable office temperature when you are stuck in a little box of an office, with no windows or ventilation?

Do you know OSHA? It's the federal policies that some adhere to, and some companies don't. But in Calif, especially in Sacramento, I always had a space heater. I was cold. It was 90 degrees outside but a frigid 60 inside! WHAT! My thermostat at my house was set at 85. No seriously it was. Hey when it's 110 outside, 85 is cool and relaxing.

When I lived by myself I would turn on the heat and SWEAT at night - windows open of course.

So I like it warm. Did you get that? So imagine my dismay, when moving to Seattle and it's cold (under 65) more then 10 months of the year. And my added dismay when my hubby does not share my enjoyment of warmth. (We did come to a compromise but it took me 4 years to feel comfortable at 72 in the house.) And then my world was ROCKED with my prior work when I was not allowed a space heater. My only salvation??! The thing that makes or breaks my happiness? Yup, I was cold for years. Cold outside, cold inside, walked from cold spot to cold spot.

But it's back - my lovely little space heater. And I keep it on ALL DAY LONG. People at the new work make fun of me, I have been calling it my Tropical Paradise! But unfortunately my computer is not like the blasts of hot air, and gets really bothered so I do turn it off occasionally (like now for instance) just to give the ol' computer a little chillin' out time.

But I'm cold again. And I'll be turning it on momentarily.....ahhhhhhhhh. Screw you OSHA.

What about Bob?

2009-04-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

I've done it! I've been meaning to for such a long time!

I PLANTED TOMATOES!

I had been wanting a house, to have a backyard, to plant a vegetable garden. I remember when we bought the house in Seattle, and once settled, I went online to find out...well, HOW do you plant vegetables. In particular, I wanted tomatoes. My dad had a vegetable garden as I was growing up. And even though I didn't myself help out, or really want to eat what he sowed, I really have fond memories of watching my dad garden and how THRILLED my mom was with the veggies. They would set out a plate of sliced tomatoes with salt on them, and my mom and dad would gush over how delicious they were. I remember turning my nose up at them. But as an adult I now must put salt on my tomatoes anytime I see one sliced.

So,

I wanted to plant tomatoes. Guess what? The PNW is a horrible place to garden! It's wet and cold the majority of the year, and tomatoes, although CAN be done, really hate Seattle weather. I was so disappointed. I had dreams of tending to my garden but guess what? I hardly ever went into our backyard. Rod says I was there 6 times in 5 years. I'm thinking that's pretty close.

Now if I was crazy determined, I could have bundled up and just done a PNW garden. I could have invested money in a greenhouse and sunlight lamps. But I didn't I mooped instead.

But now that I'm in Sac, I KNOW that Tomatoes are the "it" plant. People are all a buzz with veggie gardens here. It's the thing to do. So I bought a ONE, little tomato plant and a container and all the tomato accessories. And a veggie garden book. I'm set. It's planted.

I've named him Bob, like Bob the Tomato from Veggie Tales. Me and Bob are taking on the world!

Of course now I've realized I should have waited til May 1. Since night time temps have to be above 50, and that's not til May. But it's only been a week, and Bob is looking pretty good. I brought him inside last night as it was suppose to be 40 degrees.

Guess what? He's now my friend. I talk to Bob! How crazy am I? I do not have anyone at the house with me. So now I talk to my plant. Nice. I even read a book on the patio with Bob. I'm thinking we are going to have a BBQ this weekend together.

KFC is PURE Evil

2009-04-27T15:18:00.000-07:00

Who finally thought of this idea?? Let's make it GRILLED! How hard is that? But I guess with the word FRIED in your store name, you've got to stick with what works.

There's a KFC right next to the house I'm staying at. I must drive past it just to get to the house. In honestly there are TWO KFCs, but I can at least drive around the other one. But I stopped in last week for their grilled chicken, and yes, it's delicious.

I think that not only does KFC want to grab the summer grilling experience and market it, but maybe they are trying to seem less "fattening"...their new marketing slogan is to "UNthink" KFC chicken. But you know what? You can't with the grilled. It still has the skin on...absolutely scrumptious as it is - I know from eating it, it can't be lumped under the "healthy" umbrella.

Anyway, want to try it? Well today you can have ONE piece (I bet it's like a leg or wing) for free! No purchase necessary. Just drive on up and get some chicken. If you don't have time today, and you read the Sunday paper - there was a coupon in the PARADE magazine, plus I think if you get coupon mailed or emailed to you from their website, you can get a coupon that way too. I have like three coupons right now.

2 Weeks Notice

2009-04-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

It happened. Oh, you knew it would. I bet you were saying it when you read my old posts about missing my kids.

But it's happened. I guess my breaking point is at two weeks. I miss my kids. Still not the lifestyle, but the kids themselves. I was shopping for new walking baby shoes this weekend and everyone had their kids! Mine were missing...not driving me crazy and at home in Seattle :(

In the last month I've been gone, I have seen the baby for 4 days. And I call and she's doing something new, she has new teeth, her hair is longer. Thank goodness I was there for her first steps.

Sometimes I'm overcome with "Okay, let's scrap this new job and go back on unemployment" so that I can get back up to the kids. I'm not even exercising enough! I should be taking advantage of this time away - and I am....at restaurants! Wow, I'm eating out allot. And shopping....allot.

But I think I'd rather be driven crazy and looking frumpy - to at least give their cheeks kisses.

Riddle me this, Batman

2009-04-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

Why is it, that when I have a weekend to myself, with all the time in the world to sleep with no obligation to anyone, I wake up at 6:45 am!

But when I need to go to work, and I got a great night's sleep, I can hardly drag myself awake at 7:30 am?

Snip-it

2009-04-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

You know what's actually funny to me?

I was wondering when I was going to start and complain about something in Sacramento. But I seem to be so joyous I'm not complaining much. And I forgot about stuff of course - don't we forget the bad stuff when we yearn for yester-years? (I'm rambling)

MOSQUITOS!

I forgot how much they LOVE me. I used to get eaten alive! And guess what, the house I'm staying at is right on the river...talk about mosquito central!

So I have two huge annoying bites on each arm. They are actually quite painful. And I'm laughing about them! People at work think I'm crazy! I said, "It reminds me I'm back".

**Big Goofy Grin**

More on the Mom-cation

2009-04-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

Seriously it just hit me.

I went to the Dry Cleaners!! I put together few blouses I have been meaning to take to the cleaners. I drop them off and think, "When was the last time I went to the cleaners?"
HOLY CRAP! The last time was when I lived in Sacramento to THAT dry cleaner! Really? Let me think back....did I ever go in Seattle? Maybe once? I know I had a pile sitting in the corner forever that had to go to the cleaners....Did it make it?....OMG! NO!

Now before you say *GROSS*, these blouses that I took today, although quite ripe, still were just purchased the last time I did my work clothes shopping (in 2008!) So not 5 years dirty but dirty enough.

Why didn't I go? Probably busy, I always felt like I was going a mile a minute. Why was everything always so hustle bustle? I don't know. I had a friend who told me, "Your life makes ME tired." And man, it did. I was doing so much..or I must have been. It's a serious blur now.

That's something I found out about Sacramento after I left. It's slower, but to me in a good way. I've now heard numerous times people referring to it as the Mid-West lifestyle. More close nit. Family-ish. You want nightlife? Go to San Fran. Actually I never was bored. I heard the young singles think this place is boring, not me! Maybe it was just the right amount for me. And maybe with all the things going on in Seattle made it feel so busy..."This is Seattle, Land of Culture, go out NOW!"

A couple musings this morning of things I missed and have been enjoying

1. Warm Mornings. At least warm in Seattle's terms, it was 65 when I drove into work. I haven't worn a jacket since being here.

2. Fresh Cut Grass. Ahhhh the land of lawns and sprinklers. It just makes the air smell cleaner and refreshing and so "Spring". Don't know why most of Seattle doesn't do it. It's like a bunch of overgrown yards for that: "We are eco-friendly and let it grow natural" Whatever. Water and mow your lawns people (sidebar: I will say the suburbs DID have sprinklers and mowed lawns, it's just the enviro-kooks that didn't.) But to be equal, there are a bunch of crappy home owners that let it dry up and look like straw crap here too...so it's even.

3. I'm reading again! This probably will stop when the family arrives, but in the meantime I read before bed EVERY night. It's wonderful.

4. LOTION, LOTION, LOTION! Another thing that is because the family is gone and I have time again. My skin looks fabulous. I have time to cleanse, to put masks on, and to lotion with SPF and nightcream! I just bought a new one for just my thighs (FatGirlSlim) and it's wonderful. I'm putting it on my feet again and having regular pedicures. I actually shave my legs more! And my elbows! My poor elbows have been neglected under the many layers you must wear in the PNW. But they are out and needing my full attention! You've got it elbows! Join the rest of our Lotion Party.

To miss my kids or not miss my kids, that is the question

2009-04-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

So we are in full force of the relocation plan. House is for sale, pre-qualified, found a new California job. But we are in the middle of this plan.

Which means the kids are in Seattle, with Rod. Rod is working up there, and Alex is still in school. Willow is being watched by Ann. Unless I have a place for them to come to, they are all up there till the house sells. So I'm by myself. I suspect most mothers would be having a really difficult time. I'm not, and I'm feeling a little guilty because of that.

I had a hard time transitioning into Motherhood, 8 years ago. (I've had a harder time becoming a wife, but that's a whole different topic) When Alex was little and I was still in Sac, his dad had him 50% of the time, so there were 3 nights a week where I got to be me, just Laura, before I became a mom again. It worked out great. Most women are suprised that by the age of 3 or 4 months old, Alex was away from me at three nights at a time. ME? I didn't blink an eye.

My harder times came when we moved to Seattle and I had Alex everyday, all the time. Only leaving to see his dad on holidays and summers. That's a whole lot of kid, when you were used to a weekly break. Now I've said this before but I'm absolutely the worst domestic goddess you've seen. I hate cleaning, I hate cooking, really hate making dinner and having to think up something every night, which is why my kids get so much pre-packaged food, they are probably never going to decompose. But with the 24/7 mommy-ness, I got frumpy and more miserable.

Although so many other factors contributed to my mental depression while in Seattle, not having anything that resembled the Old Laura was rough. I started really resenting my choices. Toss in an extra baby, and it got pretty bad. (but I'm SO GLAD I had her)

So there's a mom break during this relocation. I've been calling it a Mom-cation. Most moms would miss their kids. And I do, but not with any gusto. I've been seeing friends, eating lite, never drive-through, I PUT MAKEUP ON! And DO MY HAIR....nearly every day! I'm getting my nails done and going to the gym. I look good, and I'm feeling good. And the amount of good sleep I'm getting is staggering. That old woman that was in the mirror is slowing shaping back into the vibrant Old Laura I knew!

And I'm not even done! So many more things I want to do.

But I have kids. They are coming back. I SHOULD miss them. And I do - I miss them. I adore them, and I love them. But I don't miss the Mom Lifestyle. 8 years of not getting to be me, is taken it's toll, and I like finding myself again. (Let's not get into the guilt I have that I've left Rod with 100% of the parenting duties, I owe him the world, he deserves it.)

The Scale is winning!

2009-04-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

If I really think about it 137lbs is not THAT bad. Sure I like to be under 130 lbs, but it's been rough since the baby. I was making headway, all the way to 135 lbs, HA! I've got to get backon track.

Have I told you about my new job? Speaking of working out.

I'm a Controller....for a RESORT! Free Spa, Free Gym, Free Pilates, Free Swimming Pool, Free tennis lessons! FREE LUNCH! Ahhhhh there it is. Free food. My ultimate enemy. And it's been good stuff too! Crab, big shrimp, grilled asparagus, fancy yummy stuff. How much weight would you gain if you ate out every day?? I would gain a ton.

I haven't taken them up on any of the gym part, since I have a gym membership, and I just don't feel right yet, exercising with people I work with.

Oh and I'm like OLD there! Since summer is coming everyone is like 19. AND THIN. REALLY THIN!

I gotta get back on track.

Your weight: The Big Debate, Topic 1 THE SCALE

2009-02-26T11:00:00.001-08:00

AHHHHH the scale. We all have one right? You know it. It's under your bed, or out on the bathroom floor. Maybe you put it away, and it's been in the bottom of a closet for a while. Or maybe you have been good with that New Year's Resolution and your scale has had quite a workout in these last few months?

Well my scale is out. I like it in the middle of the bedroom floor, but Rod trips over it in his stupor upon waking in the morning, so sometimes we slide it under the bed. But I like this cheap little scale. It's a plain digital white one from Weight Watchers and it has the nearest .2, which helps. What would you rather be: 136.6? or rounded up to 137? I rest my case.

But have you ever noticed that we LOVE our home scales (okay love is strong) but we can not stand the Doctor's Office Scale?? HMMM? You know the one. It's an actual calibrated scale that you stand upon and have a nurse slowly, slowly, slowly, inch up the weight til it reaches what probably is your actual weight.

So there's the debate. Where is our actual weight? We use our home scale during dieting almost everyday...or at least I do. I know I'm suppose to do it once a week at the same time, but sometimes I have to check! And we weigh ourselves at home in the morning, right? The very second we get up, we RUSH to the bathroom and do our morning business, and then without any strip of clothing weigh ourselves BUCK naked..okay well I do! That's our real weigt right? Our very early in the day, buck naked, nothing in our system weight right?

Of course it's not. Our real weight is waiting for us at the Doctor's Office. Because we make our appt for 2 pm. What am I thinking??? That's two full meals I'll have eaten! And probably a snack or two...well crap! I step on the Real Scale and there is an extra five pounds that wasn't there this morning! UMMM Doc? Your scale is broken...

Well if you are like me, and I know this part is a little kookie, but you make sure to have an early morning appt. Like all my OB appts during pregnancy were at 9 am. And I didn't eat til after I was weighed! I brought a nutrition bar or a piece of fruit in my purse and after being weighed chomped down on that puppy! Geez I'm a pregnant woman starving here!

Oh it's worse. I'd make sure to have some coffee, because we all know it help things to "move along". Or as my mom would refer to it as the Daily Constitution. Well I am NOT being weighed without pooping! And I'd even go potty before being weighed to get anything out.

Does this work? YOU BET! I'd do it when I wasn't pregnant and on Wieght Watchers. I'd go to the gymat lunch but on my weigh in day I'd go a little earlier (because I'm starving from not eating!) and weigh myself there...you bet I'm 132! Not the 138 the Doctor's Scale says!

Anyway, there you have it - the great debate. Which Scale has your REAL weight?

My friend John

2008-12-09T15:16:00.000-08:00

I went back to the university this quarter after taking four blissful quarters off. I really do have big time burn out - this masters which for a full time student should take 2 years, is going to take me nearly 8 years... yup, you heard right - 8 years. I'm in year 5.

I love going to Seattle U, but it's getting old. Or I'm getting old. I just want to be done with it now. Geez. And I have a million other things to do. Here I'm with other students who are swamped with classes, granted, but I need to leave to just : Go to the grocery store. Most are business people like me, but most are also men too. The "women" are at home taking care of kids, if they even have any kids. I also seem to be the oldest person in class.

Except for John. When I started at Seattle U - I was in a bunch of core classes that the MBA students take too. That's where I met my friend John. I'd say he's in his mid forties - and a jolly kind of guy. But his kids are grown - in their late teens I think. So he's got time now then before when they were little....(you mean I get more time back for myself when they grow up some??)

Anyway, I only saw John periodically once the MBA classes completed for me in my degree (MSF). But I saw him this quarter when I went back. It's his last class! He was doing the 8 year plan like me too! And he's finally on his last class! Good Job John!

But he's the only face left that I knew from the original days. Everyone else has finished their degrees and they are off and running... with Laura lagging behind.

Well, I'll show them! :)

I'm going to finish this darn degree (one day), but I'm going to really miss my friend John. Even though we only ever talked about our Business Ethics class.

I can breathe!

2008-11-16T16:16:00.000-08:00

This is suppose to be a positive post. I am in the library at the university today and a wonderful sensation fell upon me. I wanted to blog about it - the words of what I would say kept rolling around in my head. But then as I hear myself speak in myhead I start to hear - my wonderful blog post once again sounds all gloom and doomy and vent-ish.

I'll try and stay positive.

I can breathe!

When did life get so busy? So stressful? And so un-enjoyable. The happy moments in my life are fleeting, and feel so rare. Sometimes I feel like I'm in control of someone else's life while I wait for the kids to grow up and then I can have mine back. My simple, easy, enjoyable, well-rested life.

I have a final tomorrow. Luckily I only take one class a quarter. Luckily this class hasn't been too overbearing. But between friends, and Willow's birthday plans, Thanksgiving coming up, regular Wife Duties, household chores that are piling up no matter how much I do, and it's also the busiest time of my year at work...oh, yeah, that work thing I'm suppose to do, that I'm getting real tired of....fast. All these things and many more tiny detail that I'm failing to list, have me in a funk. (Holy CRAP! The boy scout leader called me while I'm trying to study - he's on the phone - I'm on the phone while students are listening to me, I'm so bad! ) But I've been battling this same funk for about 4 years now.

When did life get so complicated? I remember before moving to Seattle, being a single mom, and doing my MBA, life was still less stressful. What changed?

But in a few moments today. Life stopped. No T.V. was on, no computer around (okay, until I got on the school computers), it was quiet, no voices yelling "mommy", no worrying that I'm stepping on Rod's toes, no need to: make dinner, do laundry, clean anything, stare at a dirty house, go to Target or Safeway or any other errand that needs to be done. All before I have to start bedtime routines, and try and get it ALL DONE by 8 pm.

It was quiet. Silent. Perfect. I sat in a comfy old chair with a side table next to me, spread out with a text book and notes. Every so often I'd look around and just breathe. Breathe in the calmness. I could hear the creak of a chair on my right from a student in another part of the room studying. I could hear a tap tap tap of another somewhere else on their laptop. I kept stopping my studying and just listening to the nothing-ness. I was also in the magazine section. With all the Newsweeks, and National Geographics, in their platic display sleeves. I would pick up one then another. Just sitting in the quiet comfy chair and read an article here or there. I was relaxed. I could feel my heart beat slower.

I remember this feeling. It was happiness, it was one-ness with life and it was simple.

AAAAAAAAAAACHHHHOOOOOOOOO!

2008-11-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

I'm sick.

I'm going to whine.

Most people know I adore my children, but I detest the job of parenting. I think the thing you don't realize as a new mom is the lack of time for yourself. But you happily give it up, you don't do your hair much, you can't find time to exercise, and if you are like me, you have to brush your teeth at work, because making a healthy lunchbox in the morning for your child goes above having fresh breath on the bus ride to work.

Being sick is one of the things that change. And it's one thing I miss the most. I miss being sick, you say? No, I don't want to be sick. I want to be able to rest and recover when sick.

I miss being so sick, that I'm stuck in bed or on the couch, sneezing wheezing and blowing my nose. Kleenex crumpled up all around me, and wrapped in a toasty blanket.

That sounds like a wonderful VACATION now. I haven't been able to take a day for myself, by myself, alone in my house....in years and years. And I'm sure it will more then a decade before I get to again.

There are people at my house. Even if Alex is at school, or Rod is at work, there's still the baby, nanny and my mother in law at the house. I desperately wish they all just go away and take the responsibilities with them. I want a day - just ONE full day - to myself. I want to take a nap, I want to just lay down. I'm sick dammit - I don't want to see any of you!

Nope. I'm still a mom. I still must go to work, take care of kids, make lunches and dinners, help with homework, baths, bedtime, read books etc...every day - no break. And when you get sick - I think a new mom is slapped in the face then. That's when they realize...it's not your life anymore.

I think when Willow goes to pre-school I can take a day - because I can drop her off, drop Alex off at school and then have the daytime to myself. But how I miss being in bed, rolling over, grabbing the phone , saying I'm sick to work, and just going back to bed. Even with the kids out of the house - I'm still a mom who has to get them both ready and out the door, drive them somewhere before ever getting to go back home and to bed, nothing gets to be simple anymore.

Am I the only 36 year old out there who is really looking forward to retirement just so I don't have to take care of anyone anymore? Just me? I look forward to my days blurring together. I think I'll just sleep the first year of retirement. Then maybe I'll travel the world.

Battle of the business perfume

2008-10-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

B by Bourcheron

3 perfume bottles

What am I looking for in a perfume?

I must say I daydream about have a nice little table in my room with many bottles of perfume. Big, small, expensive, main stream - just whatever suits me for that day. But I seem to do a lot of daydreaming. First, we have ZERO room. No room for a little table anywhere in our tiny bedroom. Fits the bed and that's it. Another is - not room in the bathroom. Our bathroom is very tiny. And we only have one for all of us. That's it - ONE tiny bathroom. With no medicine cabinet, or counter, or shelves or drawers for storage - zilch, zippo, nada. Did I metion no room anywhere? Top reason to buy a new house, just so one of us has some breathing room somewhere.

Anyway - I now have my perfume samples in a zip lock baggie. How sad is that?

I have two needs for a new perfume right now. Office Winter scent and an evening scent that needs to be more bold. Not like I get out on the town that much - but I would like something that makes me feel sexier then the jammies and bathrobe I usually wear around the house.

So the Office professional one is up. I've looked at three so far. Each to be given a review I'm sure. But I came about them all with out even trying. They were the samples I acquired from a Nordstrom SA one day. They spritzed each one on a card then I got samples. I would have never even looked at them. One you've already seen I tried out.

The next I tried was B by Boucheron.

IS THAT A NIPPLE! ^^^^^^^^

It's pretty darn nice smelling I must say - I waivered on giving it a higher rating rating. It's not an everyday scent to me, it smells expensive. I would wear it with a suit for an interview or giving a presentation to the Board of Directors. When I need to smell "Executive Worthy". (Although with the model showing some naughty bits, maybe Bourcheron should really think about their marketing and trying to tie it to a high end market - eh? Poor model, she looks cold. She can borrow my bathrobe.)

The new woody floral scent was developed by perfumer Ursula Wandel, who noted that...
There are about 20 natural products in B. Today, it’s rare to have as many natural ingredients, since the price doesn’t allow for it. The fragrance notes include cedar, sandalwood, patchouli, orange blossom, rose, osmanthus, apricot and spices.

Now I'm been finding out about the different designations of perfume. And although I have a bunch of floral - I really thought I was above floral perfumes - I thought for sure I was risque and seductive - Why me with just some dumb poofy flower? No Way! I'm like a sex kitten stalking at night - right?

Apparently not.

But as I delve deeper I'm liking Woodsy Florals - where I must emphasize NOT Oriental Flowers - holy Yuck. Anyway this one is a woodsy floral, and it very nice. No hint of vanilla to turn my tummy. Because of it's "for special occasions only" and it definately does not last all day long, hardly til noon, which I would hope an expensive perfume could have some staying power, I'm giving it three stars.

Panera Bread is evil

2008-10-27T19:48:00.001-07:00

I can seriously stay in that cafe ALL DAY and eat three meals easily and never leave - I kind of did it on Sunday, from 11 am to 6 pm. And spent way too much money in the process. I needed to study and write a paper for Monday Night class, and Panera Bread opened by my house - it's my go to spot. Of course it is! It's got a fireplace with big cushy chairs - AND coffee and tasty yummy dessert/breakfast items.

And they play jazz music, seriously they should of called it "Laura's Place".

But for my waist line WOW! And I still curb myself, I could go nuts on those turtle brownies but I haven't yet.

But back to my ramblings on Panera.
What is up with me, I know better then to drink coffee or any caffeinated beverage after 4 pm, even 2 pm is cutting it close. I will be up all night!

And I did it again. Two weeks ago I bought coffee and drank away before I remembered my "no coffee after 4 pm" rule. So being SO MUCH smarter this weekend, I decided to drink decaf. Somewhere around 4 pm it went horribly wrong. I decided maybe a shot of the flavored (and only in caffeinated) coffee won't hurt - well that one shot turned into 3 cups more with a shot in each. Okay - so about one cup caffeinated and ohhhh 6 cups decaf - and really it's not truly 100% decaf.

So as I stared at the ceiling at 1 am I wondered - why the hell am I still awake, and only then it hit me "DUH!!!!!" I have got to stop that!

A side note on being strung up on coffee at 1 am. You get to watch the Duggars TV show about their soon-to-be 18 kids, in a marathon on TLC. And I swear my jaw was dropped the whole time...what a life to lead. And I'm not saying the bunch of kids thing, I'm meaning the uber-conservative wholesome-ness of them. Squeaky Clean!

Life's simple (and expensive) pleasures

2008-10-20T16:46:00.000-07:00

Driving to work. I used to never give it a thought. I'm from California - land of commuters. Everybody wakes up and gets in their car and goes to work, plus there are things called parking lots around said work buildings.

But I moved to Seattle. Land of Eco-Craziness. Where the mass transit system is a highly intricate system of buses and soon-to-be light rails and even an underground system!! Some people think it's not good, but if they went to California (except for BART) they'd see how amazing the Metro system really is.

And it's cheap - or for me it is. $60 a YEAR gets me a bus pass to go where ever I want. All Day. Yup - $60 a year. If I didn't have kids I'd seriously think I wouldn't even need a car. But it's not all its cracked up to be. It doesn't bother Rod at all, he's so used to it. He just gets to the bus stop and waits patiently for a bus. Gets on and goes to work.

This is not easy for me. First, I feel trapped Downtown. Yes, Downtown has a lot going for it - but I'm used to being able to drive to a doctor or dentist appt. Or getting my kids in an emergency, or doing errands at lunch time. And sometimes - I used to forget something and take my whole lunch and drive BACK to my house and get the stuff I forgot. But not when you take the bus, I'm stuck Downtown , and I can't even get out til my bus starts up again at 3:30pm. Ever feel sick and want to go home? Well, I'd have to take a taxi!! $25!

Secondly, it's cold, wet, moist windy (**insert any weather you don't like standing in here**). And when you take the bus you have to stand there, in said yucky weather. Every morning and every afternoon. This sucks. THIS SUCKS BAD. I feel as thought it's a big reason why I hate the weather here.

Then there's also that I get motion sickness and although I don't get it often - when I get it is usually in the mornings when I'm smooshed into the back of the bus with no view of the front window and the road. See, I NEED to have the most front spot so that I can be directly staring at the road, just as the driver does, or I feel ill. Which gets to another point, I can't READ on the bus - it's seriously gets 30 minutes of me trying in vain to stare out a window and not feel sick - EVERYDAY.

Which makes me in turn, want to drive into work. And I do. Maybe once or twice a week. There I am with nearly fully subsidized bus pass, nearly FREE commuting! And since I HATE waiting for the bus, I just drive in - it's SO MUCH EASIER. I leave when I want. It's so much less stressful. I don't feel rushed. Do YOU know how much it SUCKS to have to yell and rush your kids all because you need to catch some stupid bus???

So to the title of this post: Life's simple pleasures. I LOVE DRIVING TO WORK. I don't care the bus is free, I don't care that gas prices are insane. I LOVE being in my car, with MY music on, sipping on MY coffee - with the heater cranked all the way up. Traffic? WHO CARES! I'm warm and toasty listening to music and drinking a latte - what's not to love?

So I drove today - actually out of necessity today. And I parked in the EXPENSIVE parking! $14! and then had to pay to park at the college too, for my night class - another $6!....So for $20 I have my freedom and I love it. If it rains - who cares, I have my warm car. I can come and go as I please.

The Great Perfume Scavenger Hunt

2008-10-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

RATING: St. John by St. John

2 and half bottles

EEEEP! I've dove into the perfume industry head first.

I went to two Nordstroms this weekend, and got a few samples. (I've also Ebayed a couple too, because I didn't get what I truly wanted) So I now have a running list of perfumes to smell, try on my skin, and then if I like it - get samples. I'm learning more about which notes I like and the industry's lingo and perfume houses.

At Nordstrom I was telling the SA (acronym lingo for Sales Associate) that I was looking for a dramatic perfume, not everyday that was NOT spicy. I don't like spicy, I think those heavy with patchouli are thick, heavy and the kind of perfume where if you get stuck in the elevator with a woman wearing it, it's so overpowering you want to gag. But maybe I just need to learn to wear a strong perfume....I digress.

So this week I'm trying out St. John by St. John. Which I had never heard of, but I guess it's a fancy schmancy clothier. Very high end stuff, and a high end perfume. I find out all kinds of stuff like, their model was Angelina Jolie, and that it's actually a re-make of their fragrance from 10 years ago. Supposedly with a twist to make it more modern.

Anyway, here's the scoop on it:

St. John has launched an updated version of their eponymous 1994 fragrance:
Introducing St. John—a charming new twist on a timeless classic. The Signature fragrance first reveals notes of tangerine that flawlessly blend the delicate impression of marigold and freesia. The fragrance evolves with the intoxicating notes of white rose, night blooming jasmine and apricot. Finally, the base notes emerge, exuding a creamy warmth combining sandalwood, vanilla and amber. Indulge in the ultimate expression of refinement and luxury.

Okay, it's a bit poofy. I'm going to stick with talking about the dry down, and basenotes only, since I'm at work, and will be sniffing here. First off, it's STRONG. I thought in the morning, oh gosh, I'm going to smell like a puff ball all day. But it's calmed down, and is now a light fragrance. Definitely older, definitely more refined/sophisticated. I would say I'd use it in a board meeting, or out on the town, if I was in a limo or dressed up. It's not very everyday, which is good, but it's more for an elegant evening, not a hot date!

I love freesia, and I can smell it - but it is intertwined with the vanilla. Not my favorite scent. The vanilla does make it a creamy scent but not a very warm scent. It's warmness is middle of the road, so I bet you could wear this year round, at any gala! :)

So Day One: It's nice, and it will be nice to have it on hand. I might give this another day or two - but not the whole week. And it's not making me say "Wow!" like I wish a $155 bottle would. Speaking of the bottle - it is a GORGEOUS bottle. And I'm quite drawn to it.

What's between Heaven & Hell?

2008-10-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

We need a happy medium here.

I was going to write a post this week toting the praise of Seattle's weather. Oh yeah I was! Why?

Because it's October. And we all think of October as cool and slightly brisk. With that smell in the air that says summer is over - let's start baking.

But October in Seattle lately is a bit TOO brisk. And Sacramento - well it's still having 85 degree days! I bet when I lived there it was nice and felt like Autumn, but just looking at the weather report right now, it doesn't look very Autumny from far away.

October should be 65 degrees. (all day) and have leaves crunching under your feet, you should have a nice sweater on but the sun should be shining.

Where's that? Cuz it's not Seattle, it's been in the low 40s (39 at times) in the mornings and lately it's wet and raining and those clouds won't go away again! And a mere 12 hour drive away - people are still wearing skirts and shorts and t-shirts as it's 85 degrees out (probably cool to them) - sun just beaming 24/7.

Am I in pergatory? That spot you just wait to see your eternal fate? That seems a bit extreme as an expression. Okay Seattle - you can stay this degree if you'd just STAY sunny. Not that ONE day of sun a week, but seriously Sunny from Monday morning til the next Monday. I bet we'd warm up to 65 then :)

Interesting Sidebar: I'm not cold. You heard me right! I'm not cold and it's making no sense. Like I can feel cold a bit but it's not cutting into me and making me miserable like it usually would. It has been like 48 degrees while I wait for the bus and I'm fine. Sure I have a sweater, a jacket and a scarf on, but I'm comfortable. Did it take nearly 5 years to adjust? Is it the anti-depressants working their magic? Or is it just the beginning of the season and I'm not sick of it yet? Stay tuned.

Thanks for sticking it out 3 years....and for your patience

2008-10-16T14:24:00.001-07:00

Product Rave

2008-10-14T12:23:00.001-07:00

***WARNING** I'm going to be a little TMI, if you aren't aware of my weird fetishes already either: Get over it, or just sigh, and realize I just talk TMI :)

Ever find something where you think it's just amazing and you want to share it will all your friends?? Well, I usually post about "Product Raves" on The Nest but since no one on there has even remotely been posting on my product raves, I'll keep them to myself on my blog and know that the people who read my blog are the most important readers for my product raves anyhow! (Good for you guys!)

When Willow was sick I heard about probiotics. I guess it's the good bacteria stuff in yogurt. Which as we all know if very good for us. And I really like yogurt, but not enough to have some every day - actually I only like it once or twice a month. Not enough I guess to really get the benefits of the probiotics.

So I was in Safeway and I saw THIS! At first I bought the Strawberry and Rosehips one (right) and it's seriously so delicious and fresh tasting - it's like biting into a fresh strawberry.

So I started drinking one each morning - it takes TWO seconds. And I love that - it's like a shot of goodness, because when I ate yogurt it would take me a long time and sometimes half way through I felt like I was choking it down. But this is gulp and it's gone!

And know what - I feel pretty darn good! For a couple of months I've been feeling like my kidneys ache - and that's gone now! Plus (here's the TMI) my poop is regular and soft and just darn enjoyable! Okay I said it - #2 is one of the great gifts of being human, and it should be enjoyable (you are eliminating waste!) and I feel so much more "cleansed".

So back to Safeway I go and bought more Strawberry & Rosehips but decided to try the Blueberry & Acai Berry, which is also equally delicious (my preference will stay with Strawberry though). And it's been a week and a half, and I must say - I feel great.

Did I also mention it has added Daily Vitamins?? It's like a Super Food I swear.

I've been tagged!

2008-10-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

So I'm suppose to play - right? (I'm a tagged virgin so I'm not quite sure!) Did anyone notice - there's no "D"?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A. Attached or Single?

Attached

B. Best Friend?

Toss up between Pam & Amy (both Sacramento Peeps)mostly because of tenure

C. Cake or pie?

Depends on what you are serving - usually pie

E. Essential item?

Aerosol Whip Cream

F. Favorite color?

Orange

G. Gummy bears or worms?

Worms - with sugar on them

H. Hometown?

I don't know anymore. I don't feel like a Californian anymore, and I don't feel like I belong in Washington. I feel lost in limbo

I. Favorite indulgence?

Breakfast - seriously

J. January or July?

Depends:

In Sacramento: January

In Seattle: July

K. Kids?

It feels weird to even say I have kids - but I do have 2

L. Life isn’t complete without?

Laughing

M. Marriage date?

Oct 16, 2005

N. Number of brothers and sisters?

One younger sister

O. Oranges or Apples?

If Juice - then Oranges (no pulp)

P. Phobias?

I seem to have acquired a fear of flying

Before that it was deformed faces (think too much sci-fi)

Q. Quotes?

Life is too short to make the bed

R. Reasons to smile?

I seriously had to stop and think about it

I will say the sound of my kids laughing

T. Tag 5 people:

UMMM, I don't have anyone to tag, there's Heather and Lisa - Jessica? Lindsey? Does anyone read my blog?

U. Unknown fact about me?

I still dream of becoming a professional equestrian rider

V. Vegetable?

ANY PLEASE! I miss cauliflower and brussel sprouts

W. Worst habit?

My worst habit I'm not talking about - a BAD habit is biting my cuticles

X. X-rays or Ultrasound

Is MRI a choice?

Y. Your favorite food?

Breakfast! But I guess I could LIVE on quiche

or Horchata

Z. Zodiac sign?

Sagittarius, and I love being a Sagittarius

Congrats

2008-10-08T15:52:00.000-07:00

Congrats to my friend on her little girl finally becoming theirs. I cried for you - because I know how happy you are and how precious your little girl is to you.

You are one of the friends I'm missing (Facebook) - I don't know how we've drifted or what has happened. Our little girls haven't even met each other and it makes me sad. Even I have only seen pictures of your beautiful girl. Do you think am I too busy? I swear I'd drop everything if I was just invited.

Maybe one day.

Anyway - right now my heart and love and blessings are all with you and your fresh family.

My Take: Signature Hot Chocolates

2008-10-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

Okay - everyone is talking or blogging about them. I was pretty excited about them. So to Starbucks I must go!

Now I greatly enjoyed the Chiasso (drinking chocolate) that Starbucks had a few years back. It's was thick and deep chocolatey. One reason I don't drink hot cocoa too much is because I don't like the like cocoa flavor and the watery down feeling of too much milk.

So when I saw Salted Caramel was coming I was giddy. I LOVE Salted Caramel, it's like a new passion. Damn that stuff is goooooood.

So last night after a pretty emotionally grueling day at work, I go to Starbucks. Drenched in rain and my cutest peep toe heels making an actual squish squish sound. I order. And the barista while making me drink rudely shouts "After this drink I'm going on break!!!" Not something I want to hear. Is she going to half-ass make my drink? And of course half way through my order it switches baristas...wha?? Now I'm hoping it comes out okay, since this is my first time at it. I crossed my fingers that all baristas give 100% customer service to each drink.

First thing I notice - I got no whip cream. Should I have asked for it? I was hoping it was part of the package. I enjoyed it and slurped it down quickly to my own surprise. There were a few flakes of salt here and there and a subtle caramel flavor. I was good with it.

But I wondered if I got what I was suppose to. So I tried it again today. But today's had nearly zero salt flavor and more cocoa taste then caramel. NOT a hit. I want some salted caramel flowing onto my tongue. Oh and this time I asked for whip cream.

So I still miss the drinking chocolate. But the Salted Caramel does okay - won't buy it much, maybe just a few more this winter.

I give it a B-.

PS: Yes because of my vacation I fell off my WW train - I gotta get back on but It's not been easy

Disney World

2008-10-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

So now I'm thinking maybe I should have blogged everyday - I gotta try and remember what we did!

But it's budget season - and I'm swamped at work, AND College started back up - today is my first class, but class actually started while in Florida, so I'm behind - WHOOPS.

Here's one pick to tide you over till I blog again.

Little Red Jacket

2008-09-25T15:05:00.000-07:00

I needed new jacket. My old black wool one has seen better days. I think I got it before I was ever pregnant with Alex. it's missing buttons, it's really pilled.

SO I found one on Alloy - a teenager catalog of clothes - that sometimes I just say "screw it" and buy the clothes because they are so cute. Now I know I'm not a small there, and I'm praying I'm a medium...but it's hard to tell when it's junior sizes. Before kids I definitely was a small, now after Willow I'm not too sure of that.

So I got a medium. It's snug! Poo - like I feel I might rip the back seam if I try to button it - or bring my arms together. So I decide in August (because that's when I bought a Wool Winter Coat) to put it up on a hanger and make it my "inspiration" to lose this baby weight. Yup 15 pounds and I know that jacket will fit perfect!

Well I've lost 5 pounds - and today was cold and I need that jacket on! It KINDA fit. Or at least it was better - it's still tight and still needs another 5 pounds lost, but it buttoned. So back on the hanger it goes. Hanging on my wall like those bikinis to fit in - but my lusting is a wool jacket.

We need an intervention

2008-09-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

My husband and I are addicted. We are tired and cranky but can not turn our heads away!!!

We have small children and need our sleep, but it calls to us and makes us excited. And well, it's nice to have something we can bond about again. The last time was Project Runway, but PR has lost it's allure it once had and now we bond over: HOUSE

My friend told me she loved it - I thought it was a drama so I wasn't interested. Then one day, accidentally I came acrossed it and watched it...MAN! It's entertaining! Then by all that is holy: USA channel plays like 5 hour stints of it constantly. We try and keep our weary eyes open to watch it - it's hypnotizing. We have DVR, but hardly get around to watching what we record.

SO the new season just started and we need to catch up - pronto. I can't believe we shut the TV off at 11 pm last night - we still had one more show to watch!!! And here I am desperate for some sleep in the morning - but I know that if USA is playing it tonight - we will be watching til our eyeballs dry out.

Not a Secret Obsession: I love perfume!

2008-09-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

My house used to have bottles upon bottles of perfume. I bought perfume to get perfume mini bottles at those Macy's counters.

My obession took a detour when I got hitched. But it's been around lately. And as I read the new Lucky Magazine (ANOTHER obsession of mine) I came across the new Calvin Klein fragance: SECRET OBSESSION

So I read about it first. One of my favorite blogs is "Now Smell This", a girl after my heart who has a blog reviewing perfumes. You go girl! In her article, Secret Obsession, she says, "The dry down is a sweet floral (the notes: exotic plum, mace, rose de damas, jasmine, orange flower, tuberose, cashmere woods, burnt amber, vanilla and sandalwood)." I've bolded the parts that intrigued me. They intrigued me so much that I'm actually disregarding that I hate vanilla in anything!

So I'm at Macy's buying my BIL some Franz Chocolates and just had to go try this perfume on. MAN! It's strong, and yet feminine. At first it's so thick that I think it's more meant for a mature lady (say my mom) instead of Eva Mendes whom obviously loves it so much she looks about to O over it.

After the inital nostral shock, it grows on me, it makes me feel confident, and want to dress up and be the center of attention!

And well, I'm looking for a new Autumn fragrance. And I think this hits it. It has a deep smell that has lasted all day. I think it can hold up to the layering of the PNW in Winter. It smells empowering, like a "go getter" business woman who knows how to be sexy! GRRROWL! Sounds so me - right?

Maybe I'll buy it when offical Autumn hits...It's definitely gotten my attention. I bet I'll be thinking about it until I get it!

September, the most beautiful month

2008-09-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

I've finally realized my absolute favorite month in Seattle is September I think it's a good month to have a kid or to have a wedding. It can be very dependable that the majority of days will be sunny, and either in the 60s or 70s. We might even get a freakish 80!

I know what I'm thinking, I like Seattle in September because it is reminding me of October in Sacramento. October used to be my utterly favorite month. Where you can feel Autumn come into the air, and sweaters were about to come out of the closet, and warm fireplaces were about to be set.

Unfortunately October in Seattle depresses me because I find it too cold for October and it gets wet, but I'd like to keep on topic about how wonderful I think Seattle in September is.

We actually have not had one drop of wetness this month - and it's pleasant.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/379229_Weather16.html

To know everyday will be nice and not wait for the next sunny day.

I'm hoping leaves will start turning soon.

I figured it out!

2008-09-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty amazed that I have been racking my brain for months and months trying to figure out that girl's face on the bus...and as soon as a blog about it I have some clarity and POOF, I remember!

She's from my work! She's actually from the Corporate office so I only see her like once a year. So I emailed her and asked if she cut her hair and I was so sorry I didn't recognize her. She said she wondered why I wasn't talking to her (as she and I are quite chatty on emails and the phone)

I saw her this morning at the Corporate Office and told her I felt like such a dork! No wonder she knew I had a baby, she did my Maternity Leave paperwork!

Mistaken Identity??

2008-09-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

There a girl on my bus in the mornings. I feel like I know her! I see her and it's like something in me goes, "WHO is she?" And it bugs me every morning.

This morning she says, "Hi Laura, How's the baby?"

HOLY CRAP! She knows my name and that I had a baby! WHO THE HELL IS SHE!! CRAP I don't remember!

From college? circle of friends? Nest? Work? A coffee shop? I rack my brain and still come up with nothing. I can not believe I've been thinking for months she looked familiar and SHE IS!

What do you say - "Hey we have conversations on the bus and I have no clue who you are!?"

It's a wonderful life

2008-09-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

We got up early like usual today, but threw the family together, slapped some clothes on and took Uncle Forrest to breakfast before his plane flight home in the afternoon.

Tangent: When we called to ask if he was ready...he asked what time it was...It was 7:30 am. Both kids have been awake an hour...and when the time was spoken he said "THAT EARLY!" ahhhhh to live like bachelor again.

Anyway, as we drove back from breakfast, I saw someone on their bike as most people bike in this town. And on this especially gorgeous September day, I looked at the tempurature display on the car...66 degrees...which seems perfect for a bike ride (at now 9 am). Plus as I put how much I ate into Weight Watchers.com, I find I have only 4 points left, so I need to exercise just to get more points or else I'll starve today.

I don't ride my bike anymore. I used to ride my bike everywhere. 3 to 5 times a week. Leisurely mind you, not those crazy bike riders with the outfits and the crazy click-clack shoes. But I would go to the park with Alex, go to the gym, go to an art walk, go to work (if close by), go to happy hour. I rode my bike at least 9 months of the year. So much so I left it pretty much at the front door for my immediate engagement at anytime.

When I was moving to Seattle, I thought, as did my friends, "Oh I will fit right in!" I love being outdoors, I love riding my bike, hiking, camping. I was more "green" then anyone else I knew. I was grossly wrong.

But I don't ride my bike in Seattle. All the things I loved about riding my bike seemed difficult or unattainable.

First, I never rode if it was cold and/or wet out. So there's about 10 months of the year in Seattle shot for me.

Secondly, Sacramento is FLAT, Seattle has HILLS. I was a long distance rider, I loved seeing the scenary and feeling the breeze in my hair, watching the tree leaves glisten in the sun shine. What I got was a bunch of hills. Cold, wet hills. The bicyclers here, wear weather proof garb, and like "The Challenge" of bicycling. I do not! I liked the relaxation and inner thoughts and peace that came with bicycling. And it's like a different ball game here.

Thirdly, my bike wasn't by the door anymore. It is hidden in the one car garage/storage unit thing sitting in our backyard. Covered in dust and spiderwebs. Every time I'd have to take it out - I'd have to move the 10,000 boxes around it to get it out...what a hassle. Not worth the effort to freeze in the drizzle, and get a cold just to kill myself on some hills.

Speaking of hassle, beforehand when Alex was small he rode on the back of the bike in a child's seat. I wanted to do the same with him here, but as I said, I don't do hills. So to go bicycling with Alex I had to brave the spiders and boxes, then get the bike on a bike rack on the back of the car, get Alex prepared and in the car, drive to Greenlake, get OUT of the car, take bike off and get Alex out - THEN bike around Greenlake, thus doing the whole thing again just to get us home. Someone took away the pleasure I used to get from bicycling. And so my bike has sat in the garage for 4 years, only coming out for a camping trip.

But this morning, on this glorious morning, I wanted to ride my bike. I wanted to feel the breeze and hear the leaves, and not be trapped in my house. And although I still felt guilty bailing on my family - I went anyway.

Guess what? The tires were flat! Well I guess that's not shocking since it just gathers dust. So I had to ride it flat tires and all to the Shell Station. Puff puff puff, wow, I'm out of shape!

Then to Greenlake. I live only 3 blocks from Greenlake!! And I never go, being that it is a hassle just to get the family together, and find parking, then all we'd do is watch Alex play at the park. Not much fun after the 10,000th time. No I wanted to bicycle there by myself. Exercise and a little alone mommy time.

So I finally get there after taking my detour to the Shell Station and The Susan G. Komen, breast cancer walk is happening - it's swarming the pathways. NO BIKES ALLOWED!

I start bawling and crying. I just wanted to finally ride my bike. My wonderful bike that I miss so much! Finally I become angry. I want to ride my bike dammit! I do not see anyone else on the path with a bike just bunches of pink shirts and weirdly lots of bras. You go girls - but I want to ride my bike. I've ridden Greenlake TWICE in four years...move over - let another person on. I finally decide to just ride the other side going the wrong way. SCREW IT. How many other times am I going to get a chance to ride my bike at Greenlake before the cold rolls in??

So I do, and I go around twice. I almost made it out of there without someone telling me I was going the wrong way. I'm pleased with myself. I go home (walking my bike up the hills). I burned 4 points.

Side Bar: I have daydreamed lately, because when/if I get my new job. I want to bike to work. With gas prices and how much I miss bike riding I am SO PSYCHED!! I can not wait, I'm itching to do it. Maybe I will get myself an outfit and some click-clack shoes.

If I a million dollars.......

2008-09-11T09:59:00.001-07:00

Stealing this from Lisa....I think my list would be quicker
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Now that you're cursing my name for getting that song stuck in your head, here's the challenge! If someone handed you one million dollars and you had to allot all of it immediately, how would you spend it? (This is a lot harder than it seems!)

Here's mine:
$800,000 - Absolutely buy a house in the Sacramento area PRONTO, and get out of Seattle
$200,000 - taxes

See, quicker. But I would have about $125K from selling the house in Seattle, so I'll use that money as play money.
$5,000 - buy jet skiis
$15,000 - pay off family car
$25,000 - Buy 1972 Corvette
$20,000 - pay off student loans
$20,000 - take trip to Spain, Greece, maybe cruise in Mediterranean
$15,000 - Take my Mom to Denmark
$25K - invest.

PS: I'd like to say, that I doubt some of the fancy things I'm buying will actually cost that much, and I would want to give some of it away to charities. I prefer WEAVE (Women Escaping Abusive & Violent Environments)

2.6 pounds lost!

2008-09-11T07:14:00.001-07:00

Running to get pumpkin spice latte......
I know it's just water weight but I don't care!

I'm shiney

2008-09-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

This is a good thing. I think.

About a month ago I got to have the tv in the bedroom to myself for a brief 45 minutes. For some reason I decided to use my time watching the Home Shopping Network.

And a woman (Wei) was talking about her new serum, it was the Today's Special. Which luckily it was 11 pm, but actually since they are on East Coast time, not actually today for us in Pacific Time.

I was sucked in. I watched as they told me my wrinkles would melt away. It was $30 for the whole system. And really did seem like a deal. I have been battling the way I look for a few years now. I think my face looks so much older. Yes, I'm getting older but I feel like I've aged 12 years in 4 years. My skin looks dull, I look well, wrinkly.

So I ran to my computer in the morning at work and bought it. Wei East's Golden Root Kit. Actually I love it. I have never had a skin regimen. I do not moisturize nor do I put on makeup. Which also means I don't wash my face. Ever. So this has really gotten me finally into a skin care routine.

And I think it works! I worry about creams and moisturizers because my skin is so oily, and before living in PNW, I never had to worry. But since I've been here I found out moisturizing is a must for skin and definitely for hair.

So I'm shiney - Oh I'm finally at this point now. It's kind of burned my wrinkles away?? There were a couple of times I felt a burning sensation. And if I mix products with a different manufacturer it really burns. I think my skin is shiney because we are wearing our way down to my skull bones.

I like my look lately, but I'm shiney and kind of red too. The burning has left and I only have occasional stinging now. But I look so much better. Or at least I think I do. Nice to have some brightness back to my face and see all those fine lines fade away. I think I look younger and the person in the mirror is starting to look like someone I remember.

Weight Watchers Stud

2008-09-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

I do not cook much. I do enjoy baking, but I don't enjoy cooking because I have to. I think most people are like this, but I'm just more verbal on it.

Anyway - here was Day 3 of WW. And I made last night their Banana Oatmeal Bread. I had bananas dying in the kitchen and there was the need to do this ASAP.It was quick and easy - came out okay. I was good and didn't have a slice before bed because I was 2 points over my daily points anyway. So I brought it into work, and chowed down on one. It's okay! Pretty good. Not "The Best" but what diet bread is?

So I'm sharing with people at work, and they are enjoying it. And I still get to nibble on a slice or two AND got rid of those dying bananas!

Bye Bye Old Friend....

2008-09-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

AHHH Starbucks. Not that I'm the biggest Starbucks fan, I like little kitchy coffee roasters and mom & pop coffee house (How Seattle of me!)

But who has the will power against the Pumpkin Spice Latte? Not many.

I had one - last week when they started.

I've now told myself, no more Starbucks (or any other coffee house) because we are trying desperately to save money and with WW, I'm going to try and be good. My regular short non-fat cappucino is usually only 1 point anyhow, but I've now decided the Pumpkin Spice Latte will be my REWARD.

For every two pounds lost, I get my treat. Pumpkin Spice Latte with non fat milk.

Come on 2 pounds - Mama, needs her caffiene!

Reflecting

2008-09-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

So I had a big ol' post about Weight Watchers and my new found excitement to really do it this time. But Blogger ate it.

Which is okay. I was typing and at the same time emailing with a friend of mine. My WW friend actually.

Both of us have had some friends or aquaintances die recently. And we were talking how it really puts life into perspective. Here we are trying to lose weight and it's the thing that occupies our time and brain, and yet there are others just hoping that their love ones survive.

It was a rough weekend for me emotionally, but only in my little world. Nobody was unhealthy, or just recently passed away. A wedding is coming, my daughter got a tooth, but people are crying and all I cared about was losing 10 pounds.

I would like to take this time before writing a post about my trials of not eating junk food, and say my heart goes out to my friends that need my prayers more then I need to not eat Taco Bell.

XOXOXOX

Weight Watchers AGAIN!

2008-09-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

I used to be a small girl...do people know this? Most think I'm small now, but I'm still 20 pounds heavier then I was before Alex. But I was 29back then... (and 30 pounds heavier then High School, but as Rod tells me, grown ups are not suppose to have High School bodies and that I was utterly too skinny!)

Anyway I gained 54 pounds when I was pregnant with Alex. So after life got back into a routine, somewhere around 18 months old for him, my friend Pam at work joined WW. She too had just had a child too. She was attending the meetings with some friends. So I decided to go on Ebay and buy the starter kit and do WW at work with her. I never went to the meetings, just lived through her and what the leaders taught them.

Well she lost 37 pounds and I lost 27 pounds! I never got back down to pre-pregnancy weight, but I got within 8 pounds and was quite happy.

Then I moved to Seattle, and got depressed. Packed back on 18 pounds of it. Did Biggest Loser WW challenge at work and lost 15 pounds!

Then I got pregnant and now am back to 140 lbs. That's alot for someone who loved being 118. I have been trying to get back on WW, and have paid for it online since March. But I just have not been able to get on track!

I RE-started Saturday. I plugged in online that I was 140. And started counting again. Saturday went well! Sunday did not. I tried and actually think I did "okay", but did go over in points.

I'm going to try all week to stick to it. There is a wedding this weekend and the dress I bought is too tight! I just need to lose some water weight and it will fit, and I worry people will notice I still have the pregnancy weight on me.

I don't look bad, but I don't look like what I want to be.

We'll see - there are other dire needs in this world besides me losing 10 pounds.

The New Phonebook is here! The New Phonebook is here!

2008-09-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

Now I'm somebody!

OHHHH one of my worst sinful addictions came in the mail today. The new Holiday Season Swiss Colony catalog! How could I have forgotten it was Sept and time to start my holiday festivities!

I have been getting this catalog for years, decades I think. The photos of meat & cheese influenced me from a young age. I would sit for hours each year flipping through the pages, reading each and every description of food treat. In my early youth I'd daydream of my friends and family actually knowing to buy me one of the wonderful holiday gift baskets...

Until I got older and I started sending the stuff out as gifts. Once I got married I found I was spending an arm and leg to give these gifts out (upwards of $500 per Christmas) Luckily I put a kybosh on that last year - making my own fudge and tasty treats for friends. I think everyone appreciated my thought of Swiss Colony, but I also felt like they felt obliged to have to reciprocate, which they so never had to do.

So here I am tonight circling all the things I want to buy - and maybe a few for friends. The ones that live far away. But we Jehlik's here in my house have a family tradition of the last 5 years, which are the Swiss Colony Petite Fours!! AHHHHHHH Jehlik Family Petite Four Tradition. One of my best ideas if I say so myself. Rod is absolutely addicted to these sweet treats, so much so I have to buy multiple boxes and have the company space out shipping. One box before Thanksgiving, One box right after Thanksgiving and another right before Christmas. Otherwise Rod will eat a box a week and we'd have nothing near Christmas time.

Plus I keep a spare mini box in case we have holiday visitors. Ask Heather or Dawn, they came to see the new baby and got a plate of Petite Fours pushed on them :)

So you poor souls who stagger to the Hickory Farms stand in the mall, I feel for you. You did not get the Swiss Colony bug as I have and it has not passed its glory upon you.

Don't worry. You may stop by my house and have a plate of sweet treats and some great meat & cheese logs. Mmmmmmmm good!

Putting up the good fight...

2008-09-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

It's September. I have a game plan. I made this plan back in May. Most people know that I can not for the life of me handle this weather in Seattle. I never anticipated it when I moved up here...but it happened. I hate it when people tell me the weather is fine and that I'll adjust. It's been over 4 years and I have not adjusted!

If most people know me, they'll also know I went into a horrible depression because of the weather. Mostly. But it got bad. I've never been clinically depressed and it's an awful thing to go through. Ever see those Cymbalta commercials where it's in Grey and White and the person is just sitting there on the bed looking down & staring out into space? Or in the bathroom just blankly looking at themselves in the mirror? It occupies their whole day. That was me, for a long time, that was me. And I don't EVER want to be there again.

So after breastfeeding I started on 5 HTP, which is a homeopathic anti-depressant. I started to feel better. Not back to the old me, but not living in grey & white anymore.

So the Game Plan:
Prepping for the dark, dreary cold days ahead, which for me start about mid-Sept to mid-June. That's a long time to battle depression every year.

So I'm upping my pills dosage, now taking 50mg each in the morning and the evening (used to be just the evening), I'm taking a Vitamin D liquid supplement threes times a day, and I just got my work to buy me a S.A.D lamp for my desk. Hopefully it won't be as bad this year...and my lamp is arriving on the 9th - I'm super excited about it!

But as I tell my husband: I can't believe I have to take all this stuff just to live here...And still not 100% myself.

BTW

2008-09-04T14:20:00.001-07:00

Am I the only person who is super pysched that it's Endless Riblets season??

Where does this blog take me?

2008-09-04T13:14:00.001-07:00

I know what I suck at, ohhhhh yes I do.

I suck at cleaning a house, I suck at being productive at work, I really suck at blogging. The words race in my head all day long, yet I never put them down on the blog.

So let's try our hand at this blog thing again. What should be the focus? Me? The Kids? Life in General? Or the Cocktail I ohhh so wished for (yet could not seem to get out of the house on any Date Nights to produce the said blogs)

Well, how about just babble? I babble well indeed!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I suck. Why am I just SO bitter sometimes? And why is it always with the same folks? They must think I'm some crazy lunatic unhappy woman.

Once again, I found myself in a nice adult gathering sans kids but actually with husband in tow. (or was I in tow?) Anyway we sat next to couple with such a NICE SWEET wife. Gosh, she's nice. I don't think her husband truly likes me, but he tolerates me and for that I'm thankful to him. But she's so nice.

I had been down in the dumps about parenting which unfortunately happens to me alot. It's like a continuous cycle of loving my kids with every ounce of my soul and back to loathing everything that is about parenting. My definitive selfish side, that rears it's ugly head way too many times to count.

But there I was - tired. And JEALOUS. Maybe that's what always makes me seem so bitter. How did it come about? Well, my BIL & SIL 10 year wedding anniversary vow renewal ceremony thingy is coming up. All couples were invited to add to the wedding video to be shown at the ceremony. Okay, fun. Free wine and I can speak about the love and trials of a good marriage. So there we are all couples just sitting about and we were looking at BIL & SIL's wedding pictures from 10 years ago. They looked so young! So I said innocently, "Wow, wouldn't it be great to be 10 years younger again!" and well, to me yes it would. I'd be about 26 and the years of 23 to 27 rocked in my life, and I'd love to be in that place again. Just going to school, working a part time easy job, no worries just homework and in my wonderful little studio. Man, I loved that studio!! Life was easy, and fun, and well, well rested from the sleeping in that occurred many days at my place.

But the very sweet wife said, "Oh gosh no!" I forgot she'd be a teenager! Now I said that I would adore being 17 again too! I loved High School in all it's click-ish and geeky glory. My mom cooked and cleaned while I and my sister lounged around all day either in bed, or napping on the couch or parked infront of the family TV - what's not to love!

So she said something so nice and positive. Something that went like "We cherish every moment of life and look towards the future and only see it getting better and better!" Why can't I be like that!! Oh noooooo. I have to crush it and say, "Oh Honey, you don't have kids yet **putting hand on her shoulder** you just wait, they suck the life right out of you". She walked away after I said that.

What the hell am I doing? There she is again. The me that misses the way life "used to be". When I could just do what I want, when I wanted, not spend $1200 a month on daycare but actually buy things for myelf - fun things or fun places to go. I'm bitter. I don't smile or laugh like I used to, not like before kids. Now I yell for them to get their clothes on, and get annoyed in less than a milla-second if ANYBODY whines. And kids whine ALOT!

I'm not going to paint that picture again. The one where I wish I had my life back, and did the things I loved instead of the responsibilities I have. I was bitter because I waited 12 hours on my Labor Day, not having a picnic or on a boat or having a BBQ like all the kidless people - no I spent 12 hours trying to keep kids busy while they bugged me all day - and all I want to do was paint my toenails.

You heard right. I was bitter because I wanted 20 minutes to myself to paint my toenails. Once I got them all in bed I ran to the bathroom and picked out a new color and top coat and base, and all the toe nail goodness...and sat down. No whining, no getting dinner ready, no having to keep them from bugging me all day...just sit there on the couch at 9 pm and do my toe nails.

So the next night with the very nice, sweet, well rested YOUNG wife, I squashed her positive spin on life. And I'm sorry. I was you once, and I'm jealous I'm not you now.

I'm ashamed of myself, and I'm working on it. I love my kids with my whole soul. I just hate being a parent. That's my issue and I'm sorry it bled out.